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Is your spouse financially cheating on you?

Financial infidelity has been happening for decades. The art of tricking your spouse, to hide your money, is called financial infidelity. This is deceit and treachery at every level.
o Lying to your spouse on the salary you earn.
o Hiding financial details and transactions from your spouse.
o Trying to use your spouse’s money, so that your money is safe.

This is financial infidelity.

Marriage is a relationship of love, trust and understanding. Marriage means both partners strive to achieve mutual financial goals, through financial planning. Financial cheating of a spouse, can put your marriage at risk. In Western countries financial infidelity, can lead to a divorce. In India a marriage is likely to survive financial infidelity.

Why cheat on your spouse financially?

Your wife might be a heavy spender. She enjoys spending her money, as well as yours. You tell your wife, you earn a much lesser take home salary, than you actually earn. This saves your money from your wife, who would use it to purchase expensive items for her personal use. Another reason for financial infidelity is preserving your self esteem. You earn a much lesser take home salary, than you tell your wife. This helps you to hold your head high when you walk in front of her. Your wife could also be hiding her money from you. She might be sending money to her parents and does not want you to know about it.Your wife could be spending money on herself, out of the family budget. She artificially inflates the house hold budget, to cover her spending.

What are the causes of financial infidelity?

Losses in the stock market
Your spouse might be secretly investing in the stock market, without knowing much about it. When the stock markets crashed, he/she might have suffered heavy losses. For your spouse this is a severe loss and not just because of the money lost. This is a loss of face. Your spouse cannot admit, he/she is not good enough to invest in the stock market. Your spouse will never tell you about this loss.

Gambling and bad habits
Is your spouse a shopaholic or a gambler? He/She might be hiding money from you, to indulge in these bad habits. Your spouse might be fond of playing cards, or betting and this habit can eat up money. Worse….These are additive habits and your spouse might have no control over them. If your spouse has these bad habits, then no matter how much you save, there is no money left. This is like filling a bucket with a hole, where water continuously leaks out.

Lending to friends
Your spouse might be lending money to his/her friends. Worse, these so called friends might not be returning the money back. Your spouse is too proud to ask for this money back from his/her friends and relatives. Worse, he/she might be considering it beneath his/her dignity to ask for this money. Your spouse will make sure, you never find out about this money. Lies… Cheating…Deceit…anything goes.

Credit cards and debt
This is the infamous debt trap. Your spouse might be struggling to repay the dues on his/her credit cards. He/She might have taken that secret personal loan, which he/she is struggling to repay. Worse…He/She might be gambling hoping to repay these debts by striking the Jackpot.Your spouse is frightened that if you come to know about this debt, your relationship with him/her will never be the same.

How to detect financial infidelity?

  • Is your husband insisting on handling the family finances himself, without allowing you even a glimpse into them? Warning bells should ring in your head.
  • Does your husband/wife quickly switch off the computer/laptop when you are around? Does your spouse hide passwords from you?
  • Does your spouse refuse to have a financial chat?
    These may be signs that your spouse has money secretly hidden somewhere, to indulge in his/her needs. It is the duty of your spouse to support the family and he/she cannot shirk from this responsibility. It is not right that your spouse is taking care of his/her personal whims and fancies, neglecting family duty.

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